


The Catastrophe of the Broken Bed

by redcandle17



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-26 02:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1671800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redcandle17/pseuds/redcandle17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sansa and Sandor spend the night at an inn and Sansa wakes up to discover something <i>terrible</i>. Humor/fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Catastrophe of the Broken Bed

Usually when she awoke before him and wanted to talk, Sansa rested her chin on his chest and patiently waited for him to wake, staring at him all the while. It disconcerted him - and reminded him of a puppy he'd had as a boy - but it was much preferable to being shaken awake. 

"What?" he demanded, after assuring himself that the door wasn't been broken down by armed men. 

"The bed is broken," she hissed quietly. 

"What?" he repeated, confused.

She gestured to the headboard of the bed. "You broke it!" 

True enough, there was a deep crack in the wood. Sandor didn't remember breaking it, but his attention had been on the woman beneath him, not on the damn headboard. He must have braced himself against it at some point. 

"So I did. We'll have to pay for it, I suppose." He glanced at the shuttered windows and saw no hint of sunlight so he settled back on his pillow. He had just shut his eyes when Sansa shook him again. 

"What now?"

"The innkeeper and the maids will know how it got broken!"

Sandor was tempted to tell her that if he'd fucked her hard enough to break the bed last night, the whole inn had probably heard them anyway. But she might have been mortified enough to cry and it was too early to handle tears. "I doubt it's the first time it's ever happened."

"But I'm a _lady_ ," she said, "And they know who I am. The innkeeper told me my lady mother stayed at this very inn with my brother Robb on her way to Winterfell for the first time." 

"What do you care what some innkeeper thinks?"

She gave him an exasperated look. "Innkeepers _talk_. I just know he'll tell everyone how Sansa Stark broke the bed and then the whole realm will laugh at me."

"I broke the bed, not you."

"Yes, but you were...with me at the time." 

"I was fucking you, you mean," he said, because he was annoyed at being kept awake and it annoyed her when he talked like that.

"Yes," she said through gritted teeth. "But it won't be you they laugh at; you're a man." 

"You're making a mountain of a molehill." 

"Everyone in the Seven Kingdoms will tell bawdy jokes about me and you don't even care." 

She was about to cry. "All right," Sandor said. "I'll make sure the innkeeper understands that if word of this gets out, I'll be back." 

"Don't hurt him," Sansa said, ever the gentle lady. "But maybe you could pick him up off the floor by the collar of his tunic? People are _quite_ intimidated when you do that." 

"I'll dangle him up-sided down if you want." 

"Oh. Yes, that would..."

"Let me sleep," Sandor begged. 

She gave him an offended look, but she settled back and stopped chattering. Sandor pulled her against him the way he liked and closed his eyes, falling asleep almost right away.


End file.
